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Who stole the Kishka?

Every morning, just before dawn, from two kitchen speakers, Frankie Yankovic and the Yanks loudly and with great oom pah pah plead for the resolution of a cold case that has been confounding authorities since 1950.

“Who stole the Kishka”

Dear God, Netflix, for the love of all humanity, it’s time to jump in.

I had been blissfully, marginally unaware of this particular crime until we wandered past the award-winning Squeezettes on Saturday morning during Appleton’s very cool Octoberfest.

“Hey!” my husband Vince shouted. “That’s Guy’s favorite song!”

He dashed over and, for only the second time in his entire life, held his cell phone aloft to record a song. Charmed, I took a picture. He chuckled as he prepared to send the clip to his college roommate, the lederhosen-loving litigator Guy Maras, who loves polkas almost as much as Vince does.

From then until now, “Who stole the Kishka?” has enjoyed a prominent spot on Vince’s peculiar morning play list. In deference to our long-suffering neighbors, I have been keeping the windows closed.

“Look at these lyrics!” he said yesterday.

I did and, frankly, I found them disturbing.

“Round, firm and fully-packed, it was hanging on the rack. Someone stole my kishka, when I turned my back.”

Kind of racy, dontcha think?

And then, for no reason at all, the disparaging comments about perfectly good meats and dumplings.

“You can take my shinka. Take my fine kielbasi. You can take my pierogi. But give me back my kishka.”

I mean, did he kiss his Babcia with that mouth?

So, here’s the challenge, Internet sleuths: Someone named Yaschel (AKA Yusef) has been a person of interest on this case since lyricist Walter Solek mentioned him 66 years ago.

Find him. Quickly.

octoberfest-vince

I thought it was cute that Vince wanted to record his college roommate’s favorite song, but I’ve been hearing “Who Stole the Kishka?” every morning since.

octoberfest-random-fun-lovers

There were plenty of other charming things to photograph at the 2016 Appleton Octoberfest — like this fun-loving couple…

octoberfest-sweet-little-girl

And this sweet little girl.

octoberfest-do-wop-daddies

I found an avid Do Wop Daddies fan.

octoberfest-he-brought-his-own-stein

And a man who brought his own stein.

octoberfest-corn-hat

And a vendor in a corn hat.

octoberfest-more-random-fun-lovers

No shame in their lederhosen game.

octoberfest-packer-fan

A Packer dirndl

octoberfest-dancing-pizza

This picture cracks me up. Who stole the cheese curds? Who stole the cheese curds? I love the dancing pizza slice, and the food stand that apparently ran out of cheese curds and is now serving french crepes, an obvious substitution.

octoberfest-vince-and-donna

This is Vince and his sister Donna, who lives in Chicago but has become an honorary Appletonian. The Honorable Vince lives for the day he can preside over a kishka case.

octoberfest-crowds

Good Lord, there were tens of thousands of people on College Avenue Saturday. Someone must know who stole the kishka!

This is the clip Vince  recorded and sent to his friend Guy:

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Posted on September 28, 2016, in The people in our neighborhood and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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