Good Golly, Miss Molly, you’re making me fat!
An awkward juxtaposition of my bi-annual physical and my 18-month anniversary of co-writing a food blog led to a Seinfeldian conversation in my doctor’s examination room.
“Step on the scale please,” said the cheerful and charmingly named nurse Molly.
“I’d prefer not,” I responded in an equally cheerful tone.
“Are you refusing?” Molly said.
“Refusing is a harsh word.”
“You don’t have to get on the scale,” Nurse Molly said. “But if you don’t, I’m going to have to write that you refused.”
The semantics banter could have continued indefinitely, but I’ve had 14 years of experience in debating Mollys. I knew I wasn’t going to win.
“Unless you absolutely need me to, I’m not going to get on the scale today,” I said.
“So you’re refusing?”
Nurse Molly and I parted friends, which led me to an equally Seinfeldian conversion with my own Molly.
“Can I make dinner tonight?” she asked.
“Can you just make something for you and Dad? I am watching what I eat.”
“If I’m cooking, I’d like to cook for the whole family,” she said pointedly.
“Ok, but please make something healthy.”
Delicious smells soon filled the house and drew me to a sweetly set dinner table.
“Looks good, what’d you make?” I asked innocently.
“Chicken pot pie,” my evil co-blogger said.
I ate every bite of that rich, flaky decadence.
And then I took a stand.
I am going to drop a few pounds in the next couple of weeks so I can enjoy my summer unencumbered by straining buttons.
What follows are my own tips should you find yourself in a similar predicament and I would appreciate any tips of your own, if you would kindly post them in the comment section.
1) I am tasting but not eating all of the delicious dishes Molly whips up. A teaspoon of Molly’s homemade custard left me duly impressed, a tiny smidge of her lemon meringue pie earned an honest high five.
2) When possible, I have temporarily switched my workouts from 5:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. to eliminate any pre-dinner snacking.
3) I brush my teeth after dinner to discourage any post dinner snacking.
4) I make sure I have plenty of these beauties on hand because I really love fresh veggies and hummus.
5) I keep frozen bananas in a gallon Ziploc bag for dessert. With a little chocolate syrup and a festive maraschino, frozen bananas taste like ice cream sundaes.
6) I drink plenty of water, with a fresh squeeze of lime.
Summer is coming and I intend to enjoy it. (Now let’s pretend we never had this embarrassing conversation, shall we?)