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Death (of my dignity) by Chocolate

Wednesday, a day before Valentine’s, I did what every member of my family had asked me never to do again.

I gave up chocolate for Lent.

Why the family solidarity, you may wonder, why the passion?

That I can trace to the 2002 Lenten season and an undignified incident in the freezer aisle of a Shawano County Walmart.

I stood, nose pressed against the glass, and screeched, “Golden ice cream sandwiches! Genius! Everybody come look! Ice cream sandwiches without any chocolate!”

My loved ones scattered, embarrassed by the lady doing the happy sugar dance in aisle 12.

Having nobly given up chocolate, I spent 40 days scrounging for alternate treats. Boston Baked Beans! “Who knew they still made these,” I gloated to an eye-rolling offspring as I happily munched a candy I hadn’t tasted in 30 years.

“Look guys, a candy named after your Grandma!” I said around a mouthful of stale Mary Janes.

A Bit-O-Honey gave me a bit-o-toothache but I gamely chewed on.

It was ridiculous.

I don’t even like candy. I’m just not good at giving things up.

In the intervening years I tried alternate Lenten projects. Random acts of kindness, scheduled at appropriate intervals, felt a little phony. Vows to attend daily mass fell short in the hustle and bustle of our hectic lives.

So, this year, I hauled out a Lenten project I knew would keep my attention. Chocolate abstinence.

We Catholics are supposed to do this quietly. We’re not supposed to let our right hand know what our left hand is doing.

I’m going to work on that this year too.

Meanwhile, does anyone have a good recipe for vanilla hot chocolate?

I should wear this on a T-shirt.

I should wear this on a T-shirt.

I can't describe how good these tasted for a brief moment in 2002.

I can’t describe how good these tasted for a brief moment in 2002.

Hot chocolate

How genius is this? A cup of hot chocolate in a cup of chocolate!!! I may have to recreate these Easter Sunday.

Saw this the other day and I thought it was spectacular. Chocolate covered strawberries in a cereal. Someone at Kellogs is using their noggin.

Saw this the other day and I thought it was spectacular. Chocolate and strawberries in a cereal. Someone at Kellogs is using their noggin.

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Posted on February 15, 2013, in humor and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Lent is only 40 days right? I used to be Catholic and however many days it was always seemed unbearable. As a kid I was kind of obligated to give up sweets, not much else a little kid can do. My birthday sometimes fell in the middle of Lent. Pure torture. I will give you a thumbs up and a good luck. Only a couple weeks left. You can do it.

  1. Pingback: Dear Chocolate, | Molly B and Me

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