Advertisements

The Island of Misfit Appliances

It is possible an accidental slight perceived by my Easy Bake Oven back in 1972 left me permanently banished to the Island of Misfit Appliances.

If so, I would like to apologize formally on behalf of myself and, more likely, my older brother, because I have not spent a single day of my adult life with all of my household appliances intact.

Not one.

Yesterday Molly and I killed time watching Netflix while a repairman worked on our stove. Darkness fell. Eventually he returned to our family room with a stricken expression.

“Ma’am, can you step in here?” he asked, apparently feeling that whatever he was about to tell me would be too shocking for the tender sensibilities of a high school freshman.

Safely out of her earshot he said, “Ma’am, I broke your stove.”

A lengthy explanation of electrical circuits and coils followed but I barely listened as I pondered yet again the irony of a repairman breaking my appliance.

I give you the furnace repairman who jostled loose a pipe in our basement that required the services of a plumber who had to order parts, leaving us with neither pipe nor furnace in working order.

We live in a house with a programmable thermostat that has been stuck at 64 since the power surge of 2006.

An electrician helpfully rewired our outlets last year and now our electric tea kettle short circuits our Christmas lights.

Friendly folks live here on the Island of Misfit Appliances that’s full of universal remotes that have to be jiggled just so, and garage door openers that lift only one door, and brand new dishwashers that leak.

You can visit us any time.

But don’t use the doorbell on the street side door. It hasn’t worked since a repairman fixed our porch light in 1998.

Ah the glory days! (Although, from the looks of this picture, my electric mixer is about to entangle the chord, perhaps setting off a life-changing series of appliance failures from which I have yet to recover.

Ah the glory days! (Although, from the looks of this picture, my electric mixer is about to entangle the chord, perhaps setting off a life-changing series of appliance failures from which I have yet to recover.

I had the oven and I had the hairstyle. I loved my Easy Bake Oven. A lightbulb baked tiny cakes that made the house smell delicious. Genius.

I had the oven and I had the hairstyle. I loved my Easy Bake Oven. A lightbulb baked tiny cakes that made the house smell delicious. Genius.

Stuck at 64

Stuck at 64

Advertisements

Posted on December 12, 2012, in Family, Family Stories, humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I can so relate. I’m packing for a major move….. Bottom shelf of pantry … at least 5 appliances still in original containers …… 😦

  2. Our beloved halogen oven just blew one of three ‘non-user-replaceable’ bulbs. The glass in the oven falls out every time we use it, and something keeps blowing a fuse in the kitchen. But I’m a whiz at fixing the microwave.

  1. Pingback: 10 reasons you’re going to like us more in 2014 | Molly B and Me

  2. Pingback: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Carpet | Molly B and Me

  3. Pingback: When life slimes your produce, make blueberry scones | Molly B and Me

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: