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A 12 Twinkie Salute

Molly and I baked Twinkies last night in a cross-generational salute to a squishy snack cake we both thought would last forever.

I trace my own nostalgia for the somewhat tasteless treat to my Catholic grade school years during which Hostess snacks proved a sweet antidote to the stress of life with Sr. Rose, the meanest nun at St. Therese.

A short tyrant with inexplicably dyed red hair, Sr. Rose routinely terrorized her third grade class with knuckle rapping discipline and a frozen frown. Conveniently, our school stood steps away from Mrs Karl’s bread, a Hostess outlet full of happy snacks like Ding Dongs, Cupcakes and Suzy Qs.

For less than a quarter, we could stop in on our way home from school and choose from a wide selection of Hostess and Dolly Madison snacks.

With our school’s basement a certified bomb shelter and disturbing images from Vietnam haunting our rabbit-eared television sets, we children of the 70’s found comfort in a cake rumored to have an infinite shelf life.

Twinkies weren’t the tastiest treat around, but they were the most reliable.

More than 30 years later, Molly does not share my fondness for the line of Hostess snacks and I don’t remember ever buying them for my children.

Still, the sudden end of Hostess caught us off guard.

We launched our sweet little sendoff because, in some ways, the end of Hostess marks the end of an era.

Note the look of terror on my face and the scowl on Sr. Rose’s.

We thought they’d last forever.

We used bent tin foil cupcake liners to form our Twinkie molds.

Molly piped in the filling, an appropriate verb because the stiff filling really worked out her upper arm muscles. It is entirely possible that a skilled Twinkie maker could burn off all 125 calories contained in a single Twinkie throughout the Twinkie creation process.

I poked the three holes in the bottom of each Twinkie with a chop stick, an effort that burned about seven calories. Molly definitely had the harder job.

Here’s our plate of Twinkies. We arranged a few upside down so you can see the iconic three-hole bottoms. They taste exactly like Twinkies, which is to say, somewhat underwhelming. Here is a link to the recipe we used.  So long, Twinkies, it’s been good to know you.

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Posted on November 28, 2012, in humor, recipes and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Those look good! Gosh, that nun looks frightening! Ha Ha! Did you ever try a “chocodile” when you were little? My sister and I would walk to the corner store after school and buy one. They were chocolate covered twinkies.

  2. When you perfect the recipe for Suzie Qs my husband will be in heaven. Well maybe not if Sr Rose is there. LOL I am going to try the Twinkie recipe for Christmas. Surprise my kids who were used to getting Little Debbie snacks in their stockings. We were strictly low budget.

  3. Oh yes, Hostess and Snack Pack pudding cups were little bits of Heaven in Catholic school for me, too, even when we were on “silent lunches”. This post made me chuckle and shake my head with the memories. Will have to try your recipe. Looks like you had fun with them. Oh! By the by… ever try Twinkies frozen?

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